What Does It Take to be a Liberal?

Geez, I spent some time this evening perusing some liberal blogs. After only a few minutes I felt like throwing up and after a half hour I felt like ending it all. Wow, I can't believe that I used to be affiliated with such ideologues and kooks. Ah....the stupidity of youth (yeah, that goes for you libs who refuse to grow up!) It is like they have a superiority stick stuck up their ass. So I finally came up with a few requirements for being a Liberal:

1. Admit that you know everything.....even when you don't.

2. You must believe every study to come out of an Ivy League school. (They are never wrong!)

3. Devoid yourself of rational thought! Emotion rules all!

4. Say anything enough times and it must be true! (Even govt. conspiracy theories!)

5. Tell yourself every morning, three times real loud "The press is not Liberal!" (See #4)

6. Have no core principles, you must remain flexible. (Try wearing no underwear, it must feel the same.)

7. If you can't win an argument with reason, start screaming and drowning everyone else out.

8. Remember: A lie isn't a lie unless the press says "it" is.

9. You must believe that a loan to another nation doesn't really have to be paid back.

10. You must be able to claim to be a spiritual person and forcefully state that God is whatever you want him to be.

Okay enough for now, I think this will be a regular feature here in the land of hysterics because after noting these simle ten things I realized that I could write a book on the subject. Heaven forbid! Geez! I am whipped! Thinking like a Lib takes too much energy. Well I'm gonna go bed now, gonna get up early and clean my guns, abuse my wife and harrass some homosexuals, all by noon! Then its off to a Bush for King rally at the Mustang! Ciao!